Another Gringos don't get it story

A little over a year ago when my friend Shoe died he wanted everything he had in Mexico to go to his long time Mexican girlfriend Silvia.   One problem is he made no will leaving the disposal of his belongings up to whomever was "in charge".   The person in charge happened to be his ex-wife who flew down from the US with the primary duty of determining what to do with his body.    He wanted to be cremated and was but the bill between the hospital and the funeral parlor came to 25,000 pesos (or $2200 dollars).

Both ex-wife and friends just decided to sell his truck and woodworking tools for whatever they could get to pay the bill.  I guess because wife only had a week to 10 days and had to get back north. People were lining up to buy the truck below value and a couple thousand dollars worth of tools were barely considered except by people wanting a 'deal'.

About this time a friend and Silvia's family came to me about what was happening.  I said that I'll pay the bill and Silvia can pay me back however she and the family can manage.   Turns out that the family came together, paid me in full within weeks and brought a truck down from the Chapala area for everything.

The "gringos don't get it" part was that the truck and equipment meant a lot to Silvia and family for both sentimental and financial reasons.  The gringo attitude of just sell it all and get it over with irritated Silvia's family and they had a very disagreeable conversation over it.  Gringos with lots of money or only a week in Mexico just could care less about the big picture.   I don't blame the wife so much because she was not familiar with Mexico or the language.  I do begrudge other "friends" that were involved for not seeing the importance of doing well by Silvia and her family.

Lot's of reasons to come to Mexico and be separated from the real Mexico .... and this is just another.

Osteoarthritis - is that what I have?

Well it's some form of arthritis or bursitis dating back to a serious lower back injury in the early 1990's. I'm usually good during the day but almost 50% of my nights I wake early from pain. Ever since that injury I've had to change sleeping position frequently. Guess I'm surprised I still have the problem but at almost 70 years of age I'll probably have to live with it.

Anti inflammatories like Ibuprofen or Naproxen are the standards for pain relief but they are only a partial help. Mixed with a good shot or three before bed I get a good start on the night. There are also magic pillows, miracle creams, exercises and acupuncture. Actually I may try the acupuncture and maybe a little marijuana in case it's tension related. Anyway, time to try a few things.

Dealing with angry insecure people

I was looking around the Internet about dealing with insecure people and I think with hopes that this would not be so much of a woman thing .... but I'm afraid it's gonna be.  The reason is the viciousness displayed in public and with a person that you actually know.  In this case we are talking about Internet message boards where sometimes anonymous people think they can get away with anything.   Here no one is anonymous so it becomes very personal.

There are two crazy guys that act up, pick on people or just act like jackasses ... but only a very insecure person (in this case a woman) would choose to defend these two misfits and then would get joy out of making their critics look the evil ones - publicly.  Very simply she wanted to win in the eyes of others.   That is a very big order with the number of opinions and minds in this Internet world.

For awhile now she has been (or tries to be) the information source of the community searching the Internet for new info that no one else has found, announces community activities as tho she was appointed, always talks about progress on their fancy house and mentions that they drove the "Lexus" everywhere they go.

Since I know this woman I know her friends ... and most are the most dysfunctional people in the community.  The difficulty came when her dysfunctional friends acted up (continuously) on the message board and she, unable to see what was happening, chose to defend them in a very ungraceful manner.

She actually admitted she has lost message board friends because of who she sided with but I think it's more her general attitude about trying to be the Queen of some-thing-or-other.   The difference between friends and acquaintances

Three tips:

Don't bring your money to Mexico and think you are something special

Men tend to attack under the table ... or should I say more discreetly unless they want a physical confrontation.  Women (some) just don't seem to get that.

Pay attention to what is being said ... and don't jump in the middle of a conversation that you don't come close to understanding.   Defending your dysfunctional friends will only end up badly later on.

Gonna go make some ice cubes now ...

Gaining freedom of my dreams

About 25 years ago I had interesting mental problems.  Interesting that they only seemed to affect me in dreams or half-sleep and interesting that they were very much like the endless squirrel cage circle that R D Laing wrote about in his book Knots.   Not sure how that book was referred to me but I read a lot back then because there was no Internet.  I read also because I couldn't sleep much because of these dreams.   Being sleep deprived for over a year is not a fun experience. 

I think the reason these dreams were so disturbing was they were guilt ridden but I was never given a reason to feel guilty or a solution to the problem.   No definded offence to feel guilty for and no hints at a solution led me to appreciate what I read in Laing's book Knots.   Continued reading and combined with the 'teachings' of J. Krishnamurti who I read endlessly and met years before ... I somehow decided I was playing a game with myself and didn't need to do it.  Within a very short period of time it was over

I have conflict in my personal real life but my dreams are only somewhere betwen sweet and interesting

About Laing

Laing never denied the existence of mental illness, but viewed it in a radically different light from his contemporaries. For Laing, mental illness could be a transformative episode whereby the process of undergoing mental distress was compared to a shamanic journey. The traveler could return from the journey with (supposedly) important insights, and may have become (in the views of Laing and his followers) a wiser and more grounded person as a result.

Two of his excerpts from Knots
They are playing a game.
They are playing at not playing a game.
If I show them I see they are,
I shall break the rules and they will punish me.
I must play their game, of not seeing  I see the game.

I am doing it
the it I am doing is
the I that is doing it
the I that is doing it is
the it I am doing
it is doing the I that am doing it
I am being done by the it I am doing
it is doing it
One is afraid of
the self that is afraid of
the self that is afraid of
the self that is afraid
One may perhaps speak of reflections